Stand There And Watch Me Burn

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I've noticed that my entries lately have been titled with lyric-thievery from songs! I'M TOO LAZY TO THINK OF A WITTY TITLE!...

This entry really isn't about anything, just to announce THAT I HAVE FOUND A NEW SONG THAT ACTUALLY MAKES ME FEEL! And it feels fucking fantastic! So I tip my hat to you Eminem, for the marvelous song "Love The Way You Lie" featuring Rhianna, it just tears at my heart! It really does!....... OK, so the word "feel" isn't it, because I've never been in an destructively-loving relationship, however this song outlines the relationship of my two protagonists from my planned story quite well, and is fueling me to begin writing. Though, my characters aren't actually in an abusive relationship - they do begin resenting one another, yet can't find the power to let go because they still love each other ..... God, I hope that doesn't sound too emo or anything....

Want to know what my story is about? No? Well I don't care! Imma tell you anyway! It still remains untitled but I figured the title would just come naturally whenever I get to completing it (if I ever complete it!). The idea has been with me for over a year now.... not my best idea.... but one that cultures the sick, twisted, sadis within me.... as well as that idiotic, bubbleheaded, hopeless romantic.... (also one, that I think the general public would accept, because believe me - my mind is a little more fucked up than I let on - inregards to story/plot development)... well I'll summarize it into a couple of sentences.

A girl ends up murdering her abusive mother, and her mother's boyfriend. She attempts to ditch the bodies in a river, but is discovered by a passing young gentleman, who actually offers to help her get rid of the corpses the proper way. Romance ensues. (This is meant to be a fictional story about a young married couple - yes, they tie the knot! Rejoice! - and actually concentrates on that, rather than the whole murder aspect.... the point of her falling for a killer? No point - just thought it was a rather sexy idea. Heh.)

Was that lame? Was it cheesey? Cliche? .... Could it perhaps intrigue you into reading it? Tell me! LEND ME YOUR INTELLIGENT LITTLE BRAINS! *licks lips like a zombie*

OH, and I just love this review on Amazon about Twilight! This person definitely puts into words the way I feel towards the series - I'm almost jealous that it wasn't me who wrote this! And I love them also for their small comment on Eragon. Both books are bad. Badly written, badly developed, just bad - and not in the hot/sexy way!.... Though, admittedly I feel a little insecure for bashing Twilight as I have (and a bit of a hypocrite) because I HAVE NOT READ IT (2 pages is not enough... and I have only seen the first film: which makes that review seem pretty damn accurate) and it annoys me when people comment negatively about something they have not seen/read... but due to all the retardedness flying about with the series, I just can not bring myself to read it! And I will be honest, I am mainly scared to read it because I have that lingering feeling that I might actually enjoy it, and I do not want to. I only think this because the premise of the whole concept is - not so bad. Cliche - human/vampire, forbidden love, drama. But IS IS A CLICHE I DO LIKE! Who does not occassional have the daydream of being swept off their feet by a mysteriously, dark, and handsome Prince of The Night?! However, I am certain the level of literacy is - at best - on parr with contributors at Fictionpress (I actually think Twilight would be BELOW, because FP has some MINDBLOWLY AMAZING STORIES: HERE, I'LL LINK YOU TO ONE! Though I should warn you that is MxM SLASH, but even if you are not comfortable with that - READ IT ANYWAY, it has such a GREAT storyline, and far better written then some published authors who people should feel ashamed to defend with the argument "you're just jealous because you didn't do it"..... NO I AM NOT JEALOUS, BECAUSE IT WOULD HURT MY SELF-MORALE TO EVER BE ASSOCIATED WITH SUCH TRAVESTIES OF LITERATURE! In fact I'm glad garbage like that gets published, it gives me confidence and hope that I, too, someday would also be able to be on the best-sellers list!)

OH DEAR LORD, I DID NOT INTEND TO RANT ON THIS SUBJECT! I really didn't.....

.... And if you were wondering why I looked up Twilight on Amazon... it is because I looked up my favourite book, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay and was curious to see the reason why those 28 reviewers gave such a COMPLETELY FLAWLESS (lol bias) book 1 out of 5 stars..... this then lead me to the trail of other books so I could read why others didn't enjoy the books that I think are perfect. I looked up Twilight for the lols. And I got them.

(I'm currently in love with the Superhero/Supervillain premise... how I wish I could meet a guy whom would say "-Did I forget to mention I'm a Superhero?" Yes, that's my current romantic fantasy! God, I'm lame...)

OH, I also went on the 'Torchlight Tour' of one of Perth's most haunted locations, Fremantle Prison. All I can say is that it was extremely disappointing, and shall write more about it when it is not so early in the freaking morning...

Sidenote: I was actually thinking whether I should mention "Fly Me To The Moon" in this entry, but chose to go with Eminem instead! Either way, both great songs!

Eenie Meenie Miney Mo Lover

.... A rather long entry (I foresee plenty of typos)... and an art-dump! .... Because of my uninteresting life, you will probably be getting lots of art-dumps in the future since I just discovered the image attach function (yeah I know... slow...)

Howl's Moving Castle (WIP)
Has been sitting around my PC for god knows how long...
But I really want it to look good!
Character design is mixed between book x film


Edwardian Victors from Parakeet Jones (WIP)
Centuries year old magic-user?! His is cool!
.... Trying to take more realistic approach to his hair,
is rather frustrating...

Wilson Kane from The Pirate Balthasar (WIP)
.... Because he is a sexy beast! *U* This webcomic is love!
Disney should give Deda a contract and turn this into an animated film!
SERIOUSLY!
This is one is actually finished, but the WIP makes me giggle.

How am I going to spend my break? Drawing! And hopefully get better at CG painting.... as you can see, I only have WIPS sitting around my PC... I actually I have like a few dozen WIPS that need some attention. Unfortunately it seems I'm the type of person who loses interest real quickly when I'm working on a project so they will not get complete.... however the 2 in this entry WILL! DAMNIT! THEY WILL!.......... I love drawing. Because it's definitely about the freedom. Everything in a drawing is controlled by the artist and doesn't have to bend to logic, physics and the conventions of the real. I draw for myself mainly - so it annoys me when I see webcomic authors complain that they aren't getting as much fans, or change aspects of their comic in order to entice people to read it *cough*BL-overload*cough*. What turns the annoyance to rage is when they giveup on themselves because the comic isn't getting attention and just stop. If you only plan on starting a webcomic to quickly esculate into internet popularity then just GTFO! What I want to say to these people and aspiring comic artists is that YOU ARE A WEBCOMIC ARTIST. YOU ARE NOT A PROFESSIONAL. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TRY AGAIN. FAILURE SHOULD NOT HURT YOU. IT SHOULD HELP YOU IMPROVE SO THAT ONE DAY YOU CAN BE A PROFESSIONAL. Goodness knows how many times I've quit on a story - but I don't quit on writing altogether! I continue to write, I continue to draw - and it's because I LOVE DOING THESE THINGS, not because I want recognition from others. Acknowledgment is nice and all, but if you're not doing it for yourself then what is the point? You become a slave to the masses. And any form of slavery is not fun unless you are a masochist....

Hrmmmm I don't think a blonde wig will look very flattering on me for this up-coming Barbie-dressup party. So I think I'll just go as is and throw on an obnoxious black bow headband that would mesh in with my hair colour..... that and I'm super lazy, and I can just bum the dress/acessories off my sister XP only detail on the shopping list would be contact lenses now! Yeah!

Handed in my essay last Friday. Only to find out that my tutor gave us a further extension till Monday - today! Oh, well... at least it's out of my system right?

So I've pretty much locked myself in my room for the last week or so, playing on my most beloved PS2! Bought a copy of FFVIII from eBay (Platinum copy, but it was cheaper than Blacklable!) and so I'm gaming like a madman! (Though I'm starting to think I'm being ridiculous at grinding those levels if I'm able to obtain 'Flare' and '-aga' magic in disc 1 of a 4 disc game, and Squall is lvl 40 whose max is 99...) Anyway, here, enjoy my gaming rant! (Though you probably wont, so I give you permission to skip this section ;D) /gamertalk

FINAL FANTASY VIII : OK, so the first time I played this was in 2003, and I thought it was mediocre. Having played it's predecessor (VII) just before, many details about 8 seemed to fail in comparison, which made me hate it more since the successor should ideally be better. The storyline was less exciting, the battles felt very long since the sprites weren't the fastest movers ('Haste' is the miracle magic!), and I still do not see the gradual love blossoming between Squall and Rinoa! WHERE WAS THE DEVELOPMENT?! Like I said, I'm nearing the end of disc 1 as I type this, but even so, I still remember in '03 that I still had the same thought... it feels as if Square just threw the two together at the very end and I was like "WTF, bitch you were in love with Seifer! Did you betray your feelings just because he was being brainwashed! What a hoe!"..... this now opens to the character rant! I hate the characters of 8. But only the main two, Squall is an emo douche through and through (no matter how goodlooking he is, he needs a personality fix!), and Rinoa is annoying. Period. ..... However I like the others. Zell is the lovable goofball, Selphie who is overly optimistic is a nice carefree change from Rinoa, Seifer is just cool, and the character that I think is most impossible to hate is LAGUNA. He's such a dork! Squall should have inherited his personality (and his sexy hair)! Right now, playing Laguna is my only motivation to continue the game! (that, CARDS and GF conquering!)

OH, and before I finish, here's a shout out to Grey-D-Locks, for being the first random to comment my post YAY hahaha. Though it won't be much of a plug since I'm sure only about 2-3 people visit this page hahaha but Thanks C: Interesting blog you have, sir!

You seem like the type
To love em and leave em
And disappear right after this song.
So give me the night
To show you, hold you
Dont leave me out here dancin alone

You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind
Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time
Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind
I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shawty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

- Sean Kingston ft Justin Bieber

I don't mind JB... I just don't see why he's so popular! I do not understand this! I do like this song though, Sean Kingston's songs are is damn catchy!

These Wounds Won't Seem To Heal

I've been listening to "My Immortal" by Evanescence lately - I have the song on loop - and I must say that this song makes me feel like an emotionally traumatized little girl, even though I most certainly am not. I think it's the power of the instrumental (which is just lovely on its own) and the seeming desperation in Amy Lee's vocals. I still love this song, it continues to amaze me and clears my ears of all that god awful crap which is being thrown around these days. I'm not talking about any band/song/genre in particular - but I have found myself unable to appreciate music anymore, I listen to it, but it seems I've been rendered numb to the power and influence of a song. It's not that I hate music, it's more like I will only like a particular song for a short time frame, there's not many songs that I know will stick and effect me for a lifetime (in which I think My Immortal will do). I think the last song that has ever moved me would be "Alexithymia" by Anberlin, I have completely formed a bond with this song - even dubbing it the song of my life! - I love the awkward atmosphere and disposition of it, and the way it emits that restrained, frustration - which I guess is what I feel like, most times. Especially when it comes to creativity. The head needs a kick up the right cerebum to get those creative juices flowing.

I think I can make an early start by celebrating the (not so well deserved) uni break! and OH BOY, July does look like it will be a very busy month o_o"

Things I need to get done this break:
1. start writing - this multimillion best selling novel needs to get started ;)
2. draw - I'm slowly looking towards graphic novelling.... I really shouldn't, the industry is WAY beyond my ability.... but it would be oh so grand to be a part of <3
3. find part-time job - somehow I don't think this will happen....
4. LOSE WEIGHT - will happen..... WILL HAPPEN DAMNIT D<

As of at this moment, I have 4 days and nights to complete my essay, which only requires 185 more words. Am I being lazy? Or overly calm to not complete it this minute?.... I would think the first haha...